im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
