summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
