bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
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