I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I still have a little drunk in my system
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
