I wanna passion pit in your ass
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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