allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
