Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
