everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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