So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
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