Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize
