You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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