I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
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