No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
