Christians are straight up FREAKS
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
The cops high fived after they tackled you
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
