I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
