Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
