The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
