why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
