Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
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