You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
