I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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