Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
