i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
