Whoa Z and x make the same sound
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
