I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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