you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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