I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
dude i'm inner monologue high
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
