Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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