So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
