You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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