I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
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