we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
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