The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
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