i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
