You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
COCAINE IS GR8
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
