I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
No subtext here. People are naked.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
