just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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