playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Randomize
