My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
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