Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
