opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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