Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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