how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
These tits shall not be calmed
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Shame - the story of my life.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
