I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Randomize
