normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
