Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
