so explain again why im purple
no
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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