If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I touched a dick in church today
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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