Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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