My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
