i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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