____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
