At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I think a kid would responsible me up
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
