could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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